Get a haircut, and get a real style

Arabbi, a Buddhist monk and a Rastafarian walk into a bar. What's the first thing the women inside notice?

Each dude's hair.

Sorry for the lacking punchline, but the sad state of men's hairstyles today is no laughing matter (except the so-bad-it's-good mullet).

Axe, a company focused on men's grooming products, recently surveyed 2,000 American women on men's hair care. About three-quarters of the women said hair is one of the first things they notice about a guy. Almost half felt guy's hairstyles all look the same, and that guys their age need help styling their hair. Worse, 62 per cent said they are not likely to take a guy with bad hair home at the end of the night. Yet only 29 per cent of guys in the same survey considered their hair to be an important factor in attracting women.

Now, I don't want to overstate the importance of this disconnect, but suffice to say the global recession should immediately take a back seat to this crisis. Until that happens, though, a guy who puts a bit of effort into his hair can take advantage of the monotonous world of men's mops. It's never been easier to grab the ladies' attention. And your boss's: well-tended locks are an obvious sign that you take care of yourself.

Hold up, I know what you're thinking: every time I step out of the box with my hairstyle, I end up looking goofy. But there are ways to get and keep a style that fits your type of hair, says Toronto-based image consultant Shannon Stewart, who has styled Bono, Billy Talent and Sting. Read on for tips from Stewart and Annette Burwash, owner of Getaway Spa For Men in Bridgeland, on how to get a good haircut and properly style your hair.

Great Hair Starts With A Great Haircut

It can be tough to find a good hairstylist, especially if you're not willing to spend what you would on Calgary Flames tickets. But shell out as much as you can afford for a good cut.

"A really good haircut will make styling your hair much easier," Stewart says.

Keep your hair short if you have thinning hair with a receding hairline. The longer hair grows, the thinner it looks. And if you're bald or almost there, forget the comb-over. Keep the sides and back trim, or even shaved, like Michael Jordan.

Men with thick and coarse hair usually look better and have an easier time styling a shorter cut. Personalize short hair by making it messy or spiky, or coiffing it in the direction you like. But it's easiest to keep most of it facing the way it tends to grow.

Get your hair cut every three weeks to keep it trimmed and easy to style. Even if you want to grow it out, keep your haircuts regular so your locks don't get mussy.

Which Hair Products To Buy And How To Apply Them

Before you style your 'do, clean it with a pH-balanced shampoo and conditioner. An acidic shampoo dries out your scalp, causing flakes and an itchy head.

If you have really fine, straight hair, wash it most days. If you have thick hair and don't use much product, Stewart recommends skipping a day or two between washings to let your natural oils come back.

Don't be lazy in your search and resort to using your partner's fruity conditioner. A guy's scalp is usually oilier and sweatier than a woman's, and women aren't turned on by a guy who smells like lilacs.

There's a whole whack of new men's hair products out there, with strange names like pomade, mess constructor, and "Funkifier" gel -- so let's demystify the hair-care aisle. The bad hair products start with gel. There's a reason they call it a gelmet. And since gel is mostly water, when it dries you're left with a crusty residue. Likewise, avoid hairspray, because it tends to dry out your scalp.

Stewart recommends using a quality hair wax, pomade, putty or cream. Burwash disagrees, saying only waxes and creams are good choices for your hair, because the other products are too greasy. Waxes and creams are easy on your hair and scalp. They don't get flaky or clump hair like gel or hairspray. Both give you a wet look. Wax is the hardest product, but keeps your hair pliable so you can re-style for drinks after work. Cream is much softer, but doesn't have as much hold. Beeswax in the ingredients is the sign of a good wax, Burwash says.

Pomade gives a bit of sheen for a more polished, preppy look at the office, while putty offers good hold and provides a matte look. A good paste gives that just-out-of-bed look, Stewart says, which is hit-or-miss in my experience.

The thinner and finer your hair, the less hold your product needs. When applying it, remember: pinches, not handfuls. And relax. Excessive primping is not required. If you're styling your hair right, a few minutes should be enough to wow the women.

tedwards@theherald.canwest.com

Men find glasses a glamorous accessory

Men are finally seeing what women have known for several years.

Fashionable eyewear can be quite eye-catching.

Check out Kanye West’s recent fashion statement — large, black frames with a unique, Afro-mullet hairstyle. Simon Baker of 2006’s The Devil Wears Prada sported a Ray-Ban Wayfarer style at the Grammys, as did Mickey Rourke at the Academy Awards. And rap mogul Jay-Z has been spotted in bold black, nerdy-looking plastic frames.

As famous men take the red carpet and attend star-studded events, they are accessorizing their wardrobes with fashionable eyewear for both indoors and out in the sun. Classic, vintage eyewear from aviator styles to geek-inspired frames, such as those of Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor, is huge this spring, says Kristie Weiss, spokesperson for the Vision Council, a nonprofit trade organization.

“It’s a more secure fashion statement with minimal risks. You can buy the styles now and still wear them in another 20 years,” she said.

Female celebrities have been wearing large, round Jackie O.-inspired sunglasses for the past several years. L’Amy Company, which produced the original Jackie O. frame by designer Nina Ricci, is planning to relaunch that design and will use an iconic photograph of Onassis in its advertising.

At Smith Opticians in Houston, owner Philip Brown says “retro” eyewear often refers to a frame size as large from top to bottom as it is wide. He says the thick, plastic frames are a defining look and, for many of his customers, are a welcome change from modern, rectangular prescription frames. (Remember Sarah Palin’s rimless rectangular Kawasaki frame?)

“I guess when something has been in style for so long, it becomes boring; and something that’s been out of style long enough, it eventually comes back,” said Brown, who specializes in inexpensive vintage frames.

His customers have been requesting Wayfarer styles in clear plastic as well as in red, and also asking for the ’ 70s-style, graduated tint that’s darker at the top of the lens. He says combination frames made of metal and plastic, such as those worn by Malcolm X or actor Kevin Costner in the movie JFK, are also popular. Brown’s frames are $90-$150.

Tina Afra-Ozcelik, owner of the Eye Gallery of Houston, says eyewear designers have rejuvenated older styles with modern colors. For example l.a. Eyeworks’ “fiction” collection, at $330 each for both men and women, mixes vivid colors such as hunter green with clear crystal and dark blue with sky blue.

Afra-Ozcelik says men are also opting for classic round frames, such as those by Ralph Lauren’s purple label at $295-$500.

Even frames with wider, more detailed temples continue to be a popular fashion statement, but she says the frames can be distracting at first.

“They definitely aren’t as wide as they have been in the past few years, but they do take time to get used to,” she said.

“As long as you turn your head appropriately, you shouldn’t have much problem.”

LensCrafters calls the men’s look a “power fashion” statement, says Lisa Gear, the company’s director of optical-frame sourcing.

“It’s a strong look but with a lot of variations from geek chic to aviator cool, ” Gear said. “Women decided years ago that eyewear is a fashion accessory, and men are late coming to the trend. They are finally seeing frames as more than just necessity.”

The eyewear retail chain has seen a resurgence in requests for tortoise shell and black plastic frames and offers options in the $100-$150 price range.

And like Houston eyewear boutiques, LensCrafters has customers clamoring for retro designer styles.

“Eyewear is a less expensive fashion statement,” Gear said. Even if you can’t afford a Chanel outfit, she added, “you can get Chanel eyeglasses affordably.”

joy.sewing@chron.com

How to avoid a bad haircut

Call it the nohawk.

On the same day that Jarome Iginla was getting the frohawk (think: love child of an afro and a Mohawk), a haircut that would instantly become popular with teammates and rabid fans of the Calgary Flames, I was getting an army-style brush cut. Against my will.

Blame it on my poor communication skills vis a vis hairstyling.

I'd walked in off the street, sat in a chair and a barber who'd cut my hair a month ago asked: "What do you want?"

I figured he'd remember or somehow intuit the style and length I wanted.

"A haircut," I replied.

"No. 2 or 3?" he barked.

Now, if I was smart, I would have admitted I didn't quite know the difference between the two. But after a brief pause (during which I tried to look like I was carefully weighing my options), I firmly came back with a decision based purely on a guess: "Two."

Out came clippers. And off went my hair, just like those old images of barbers buzz-cutting new army boot-camp recruits.

Freshly shorn sheep is not the look I was after.

At that precise moment I decided I needed to learn how to explain what I want from a haircut.

Unfortunately, inquiries of male friends and family only taught me that they too rely on luck and an intuitive hairstylist or barber. Most guys' haircut vocabulary seems to be limited to pointing and the words "short" or "long."

This is why most of us keep the same style and stylist for years. Only a drastic change, such as moving to another city or joining a punk band, will force us to seek out a new barber. (I switched only after my stylist upped his prices twice, changed his location and started explaining how he's related to Jesus.)

Looking for a new hair guy (or gal) can be like a quest for the Holy Grail as you go through a series of setbacks relying on faith that your search will -- eventually -- bring about a glorious end to your bad hair days.

There must be a better way, I thought. Men should not have to deal with Peewee Herman hair on first dates and job interviews.

So I went to the experts -- hairstylists and women -- for tips on how to minimize your chances of getting a bad 'do. Here are their best ideas:

- Take a photo with you to show how your hair looked right after a haircut you liked, or bring a magazine photo of a celebrity or model whose hairstyle you want to mimic.

- Emphasize that you "just want a little trim," if you don't want much cut off.

- If you're new to a hairstylist or want less cut than usual, ask them if they can start by trimming it longer than they expect you want and then go down incrementally from there. Give a bigger tip if he or she honours your request.

- When a barber or hairstylist asks if you want a "No. 2 or 3?," they're talking about what length of clipper guard you want. This guard determines how far away from your head the clipper's electric trimmer will cut your hair.

Clipper guards are numbered one to four: No. 1 is stubble-short, No. 2 is 1/4-inch, No. 3 is 3/8-inch and No. 4 is 1/2-inch. If you hadn't figured it out yet, talk in inches when describing how long you want your hair.

- Our final tip comes from Lubna Faizuddin, a hairstylist from MVP Hair Salon for Men who recommends finding out the name of the haircut you want. Here are some of the most popular cuts for men:

- Businessman: Long and combed to one side on top, with no clippers used and the sides and back scissored down to one or two inches;

- Caesar: Clippers on sides and back, but longer on top.

- Military box: A No. 1 clipper guard on the sides and back, with the top cut short but square.

- Skater: Really long and shaggy all around.

- Mullet: Short on top, long in the back. Made popular by hockey players and rednecks, this is the much-mocked "business in the front, party in the back" cut.

"Guys ask for these all the time, but no one ever calls it by name, Faizuddin says. "They say 'Just leave it a little longer in the back.' "

The mullet is still popular in Calgary?

That's a bit of comfort for a man with a nohawk.

Trent Edwards is a features writer for the Real Life section. he welcomes your feedback and story ideas at tedwards@theherald.canwest.com