Call it the nohawk.
On the same day that Jarome Iginla was getting the frohawk (think: love child of an afro and a Mohawk), a haircut that would instantly become popular with teammates and rabid fans of the Calgary Flames, I was getting an army-style brush cut. Against my will.
Blame it on my poor communication skills vis a vis hairstyling.
I'd walked in off the street, sat in a chair and a barber who'd cut my hair a month ago asked: "What do you want?"
I figured he'd remember or somehow intuit the style and length I wanted.
"A haircut," I replied.
"No. 2 or 3?" he barked.
Now, if I was smart, I would have admitted I didn't quite know the difference between the two. But after a brief pause (during which I tried to look like I was carefully weighing my options), I firmly came back with a decision based purely on a guess: "Two."
Out came clippers. And off went my hair, just like those old images of barbers buzz-cutting new army boot-camp recruits.
Freshly shorn sheep is not the look I was after.
At that precise moment I decided I needed to learn how to explain what I want from a haircut.
Unfortunately, inquiries of male friends and family only taught me that they too rely on luck and an intuitive hairstylist or barber. Most guys' haircut vocabulary seems to be limited to pointing and the words "short" or "long."
This is why most of us keep the same style and stylist for years. Only a drastic change, such as moving to another city or joining a punk band, will force us to seek out a new barber. (I switched only after my stylist upped his prices twice, changed his location and started explaining how he's related to Jesus.)
Looking for a new hair guy (or gal) can be like a quest for the Holy Grail as you go through a series of setbacks relying on faith that your search will -- eventually -- bring about a glorious end to your bad hair days.
There must be a better way, I thought. Men should not have to deal with Peewee Herman hair on first dates and job interviews.
So I went to the experts -- hairstylists and women -- for tips on how to minimize your chances of getting a bad 'do. Here are their best ideas:
- Take a photo with you to show how your hair looked right after a haircut you liked, or bring a magazine photo of a celebrity or model whose hairstyle you want to mimic.
- Emphasize that you "just want a little trim," if you don't want much cut off.
- If you're new to a hairstylist or want less cut than usual, ask them if they can start by trimming it longer than they expect you want and then go down incrementally from there. Give a bigger tip if he or she honours your request.
- When a barber or hairstylist asks if you want a "No. 2 or 3?," they're talking about what length of clipper guard you want. This guard determines how far away from your head the clipper's electric trimmer will cut your hair.
Clipper guards are numbered one to four: No. 1 is stubble-short, No. 2 is 1/4-inch, No. 3 is 3/8-inch and No. 4 is 1/2-inch. If you hadn't figured it out yet, talk in inches when describing how long you want your hair.
- Our final tip comes from Lubna Faizuddin, a hairstylist from MVP Hair Salon for Men who recommends finding out the name of the haircut you want. Here are some of the most popular cuts for men:
- Businessman: Long and combed to one side on top, with no clippers used and the sides and back scissored down to one or two inches;
- Caesar: Clippers on sides and back, but longer on top.
- Military box: A No. 1 clipper guard on the sides and back, with the top cut short but square.
- Skater: Really long and shaggy all around.
- Mullet: Short on top, long in the back. Made popular by hockey players and rednecks, this is the much-mocked "business in the front, party in the back" cut.
"Guys ask for these all the time, but no one ever calls it by name, Faizuddin says. "They say 'Just leave it a little longer in the back.' "
The mullet is still popular in Calgary?
That's a bit of comfort for a man with a nohawk.
Trent Edwards is a features writer for the Real Life section. he welcomes your feedback and story ideas at tedwards@theherald.canwest.com
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